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"Where are Jody and Laura?" asked Shanti already knowing the answer."Out for a drive," answered Claire, tears still visible in her eyes."She'll be here at eleven-thirty. I made it late so Laura and Jody would probably be in bed," said Shanti with a lifeless voice which belied her true excitement.Claire winced."I'm sorry," said the younger woman. "I know much of this is my fault..." No," Claire interrupted, "I'm getting exactly what I deserve. I didn't have to let you seduce me, have sex with you, but I did. I've always been weak and now I've put my whole life, our children, our happiness in jeopardy."Tears began flowing amid great sobs of grief."Why do I always screw things up? When we were first married, I almost destroyed our marriage with my drinking and affairs. Now I've cheated on my husband again, driven him to prefer other women in his bed. Why? Why must I always destroy what I want the most?"The last words were almost unintelligible. Her sobs increased and practically took her. She tidied, swept and vacuumed, washed up and shared the cooking; she even paired my socks. When she wasn't studying or working at her laptop, we'd listen to music, occasionally sharing some comment about it, perhaps watch a film. We discussed politics ... and religion ... without coming to blows.That's not to say I, at least, wasn't experiencing some tension. I was sharing a small house, with only one bathroom, with a delightful young woman; intelligent, quick; with a sense of humour that may not have been everyone's cup of tea, but certainly matched my own (such as it is). It didn't help when she got comfortable enough around me to sometimes appear in bra and panties, or a nightie. I found I was masturbating with even greater regularity.Autumn was well under way when I got a call from the Super. I'd been a Methodist preacher for years. When Susan left, I had to ask to be released from my appointments; I just couldn't concentrate and focus on God; in all conscience, I couldn't stand.
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